The Tribute Journal
What to Write on Funeral Flowers
The florist hands you a card the size of a business card and asks what you'd like on it. It is a surprisingly hard question under pressure. The good news: short is correct here. Five to fifteen words is the whole convention, because the card is a label of love, not a letter.
Short and universal
- With deepest sympathy
- With love and sympathy
- Thinking of you all
- In loving memory
- Forever in our hearts
- With heartfelt condolences
- Rest in peace
- Gone but never forgotten
- Our thoughts are with you
- With love, always
From close family
- Dad — thank you for everything. Love always, Michael and Kate.
- To the best mother we could have asked for. We love you.
- Sleep well, Grandad. We'll take it from here.
- My darling — forty years was not enough. Yours always.
- Until we meet again, little brother.
- Nana — the biscuits, the cards, the love. All of it. Thank you.
From a friend
- For my dear friend. Thank you for everything.
- A wonderful friend and a wonderful man.
- Forty years of friendship. I'll miss you every day.
- Rest easy, my friend. The world was better with you in it.
- With love from all your friends at the club.
From colleagues
- With deepest sympathy from all your colleagues at Ferris & Co.
- In memory of a valued colleague and a good friend.
- With sympathy from everyone on the team.
- Thinking of you all at this difficult time — the staff at Oakdale.
- A privilege to have worked alongside him. With sympathy.
From neighbours or the wider community
- With sympathy from your neighbours at number 14.
- The street will not be the same. With love from all of us.
- With sympathy from the congregation of St. Mary's.
- From all at the village hall — she will be greatly missed.
Faith-based lines
- May she rest in the peace of Christ
- Safe in the arms of Jesus
- Praying for you and your family
- May God grant you comfort
- "The Lord is my shepherd" — with our love
- Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord
For the loss of a pet
- A very good boy. Run free, Max.
- Sixteen years of loyalty. Thank you, sweet girl.
- So sorry for the loss of your best friend.
- He was family. With love.
How to sign it
Be more specific than you think you need to be. The family is opening dozens of cards while exhausted, and they will be writing thank-you notes from that pile weeks later. "Love, Jen" is genuinely hard to place at 11pm.
- Good: "With love, Jen Marsh (Sarah's colleague at the surgery)"
- Good: "The Whitakers — Jim, Pat and the boys"
- Good: "From everyone at Oakdale Primary"
- Harder for them: "Love, Jen x"
Which flowers, and what they say
- White lilies — the classic funeral flower, associated with restored innocence and peace. Always appropriate.
- White roses — reverence and remembrance. Red roses signal romantic love, so they are usually for a spouse or partner.
- Carnations — long-lasting and inexpensive; pink is often associated with remembrance of a mother.
- Chrysanthemums — in much of Europe and Asia these are strictly funeral flowers, so avoid sending them for any other occasion there.
- Orchids — a lasting plant rather than cut stems, and a thoughtful choice for the family home afterwards.
White and cream are always safe. If the family has requested colour for a celebration of life, follow that instruction with the flowers too.
What do you write on a funeral flower card?
One short line of sentiment and your name — five to fifteen words. "With deepest sympathy, the Harrison family" is complete. Save anything longer for a separate sympathy card.
How do you sign a funeral flower card?
Use your full name and how you knew the person — "Jen Marsh, Sarah's colleague at the surgery." The family will write thank-you notes from that stack weeks later and a first name alone is hard to identify.
What color flowers are appropriate for a funeral?
White and cream are always safe — lilies, roses and carnations especially. Red roses usually signify romantic love, so they are typically from a spouse. Follow the family's wishes if they've asked for bright colours.
Is it okay to send flowers if the family asked for donations?
Follow the request. If the notice says "in lieu of flowers," send the donation instead — sending flowers anyway can read as ignoring their wishes. A card on its own is always welcome.
Do you send funeral flowers to the funeral home or the house?
Arrangements for the service go to the funeral home before the viewing — call to check their cut-off time. A smaller plant or bouquet for the family goes to the home, and is often better received a week or two later when the visitors have gone.
